Ups and Downs, Stress and Life

I've been pretty bad about blogging lately. I definitely hope to get back into it soon. I have a few posts written up about my recent trip to the Washington State Capitol in Olympia, which was super exciting. Those should be up this week.

But before I try to get back into the rhythm of blogging, I wanted to talk a little about why I haven't been. There are a few reasons.

The first is that this quarter is really tough. I'm taking Children's Literature, Pre-calc I, and German II. Children's lit is super fun, but also a lot of work. Pre-calc is kicking my ass right now, and German is pretty easy. The problem with it being easy is that now that I have a test next week I really need to study to make up for slacking off recently.

Basically me all the time the last few weeks :P

The second is health. Over Christmas break, I was having problems sleeping that were related to an anti-anxiety med I had started taking. I was really sleeping very poorly, and that continued as the quarter began. I have also been dealing with Restless Leg Syndrome rather severely since starting that medication, and that also makes sleeping even harder. So the beginning of this quarter I was really struggling with being super tired all the time. Now, it's gotten better, though my sleep still isn't what it used to be.

I also had some major asthma issues last week where I had a cold settle in my lungs. My inhaler wasn't being effective, so I ended up having to get a prescription for a high intensity steroid to take for a few days. Luckily that did help and it went away, but that, plus sleeping poorly, has made the beginning of the quarter a bit rough.

I've also been struggling with some personal stuff. I have to make a lot of decisions soon about where I'm going to go to school, where I'm going to live, and many, many other related things. Lots of things to be aware of and deal with, and lots of decisions to make about how I want to live my life. Being an adult is hard. Can I just not?

Anyway. That's life. I should get back into actually blogging regularly here soon.

My Soundtrack

The music you listen to makes up the soundtrack to your life. I always think it's interesting to see what other people are listening to, and also to see what I was listening to three, four, five years ago. So today, here's a snapshot of my music. This is a bit of what I was listening to today:

Another Random Tumblr Quiz

• Because I have lots of homework I don't want to do, I took this quiz off tumblr and decided to give it a go, because it's more fun than German. I edited it a bit and cut a few questions I didn't want to answer. But it's mostly intact. Fun things.
• 1. Are you more feminine or masculine? 
• Definitely more feminine. 
• 2. Are you tall or short?
• Short. I'm 5'4". I've been that same height since I was 12, so when I was younger I was the tallest kid my age, but over time I slowly went from being tall to being short.
• 3. What’s your favorite color?
• Blue. Some sort of teal or ice blue, probably. Hard to pick...
• 4. What do you love about yourself?
• I love that I have good social skills and can communicate well most of the time.
• 5. What’s your greatest flaw?
• My greatest flaw is probably that I am a very emotional person and have a tendency to make decisions based on emotion rather than logic. It's something about myself I'm very aware of, and something I struggle with a lot.
• 6. Do you see yourself differently than other people describe you?
• I definitely do. People tend to describe me as responsible, logical, and organized. I'm the one who's always on time and has everything together in their eyes. I do try to keep up that image, but I think of myself as much more of a scatterbrained person who manages to pull things together at the last minute but always rushes out the door at the last minute and forgets to do things like eat and sleep.
• 7. What are you really, really good at?

I'm good at writing. I have a lot of practice and can manage to write a pretty solid essay without too much effort. I enjoy it too. Fiction's a whole different story, though.

• 8. What’s something you’re bad at, but love?
• Basically any writing that isn't blogging or academic. I like writing fiction and poetry and those sorts of things, but let me tell you, you don't want to read it. You really don't.
• 9. What’s something people have tried to force you to do?
• Hmmm. I've been coerced often into babysitting and other similar things just because I'm bad at saying no. But that's not really forcing. I don't really know. That's what I have. I'm just awful at saying no, so not much forcing usually happens, unless it's my parents, but that's a whole different barrel of fish.
• 10. How do you spend your free time?
• Reading (not as much as I'd like), playing games, browsing tumblr/facebook/instagram, hanging out with my friends. A lot of that last one. Free time isn't a concept I'm super familiar with anymore, tbh. 
• 11. Describe the way you dress in one sentence.

Always soft, comfy, and cheap, and fashion only sometimes comes before comfort. 

• 12. Have you ever gotten your nails professionally painted?
• I never have, though I've always wanted to.
• 13. What is the most insulting thing anyone has said to you?
• I'm having a hard time thinking of one that's appropriate for this blog. I did have a guy call me hot recently in a way that really was more insulting than flattering, if that makes sense. It was really more objectifying than anything else. That's not great, but that's the best I've got right now.
• 14. Favorite game?
• Submachine. Forever and always. I'm also fond of Don't Starve, and for actual table top games I really like Dominion, though I haven't played in ages.
• 15. What color is your hair?
• Brownish/reddish/blondish. It varies depending on the weather. Really, it does. It bleaches a bit in the summer and gets more blond and red. In the winter it's more brown.
• (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*PHILOSOPHY*~✧』
• 16. Do you believe in god?
• Oh boy, let's just jump right in. I define myself as Agnostic. So, I don't think the presence of God is provable or unprovable. If I had to give a yes/no answer, I'd say no, but I'm not exactly Atheist. 
• 17. Is men’s rights a thing?
• I don't know. I think people go overboard on that a bit, but at the same time, ALL people deserve rights and respect. Men, women, people who don't fit in either category. I don't think that the oppression of men you sometimes hear about is really a thing, though, if that's what the question means. But that doesn't mean men can't be abused or hurt or put at a disadvantage in a situation.
• 18. Does love really exist?
• Maybe? I've gone back and forth on this over the years. I do firmly believe that the basis of "love" is chemical, but that doesn't mean there isn't more to it. Right now, I'm in a more romantic mood and leaning a little more towards a yes...
• 19. Can science explain everything, eventually?
• I think yes, probably. I don't know that humans will be around long enough to hit that point, but I think if we could survive long enough it might be possible to explain everything.
• 20. Are we raised into what we love, or do we come to love it based on how we were raised?
• I think it's both. It's kind of a nature/nurture question. I think our upbringing definitely affects the things we love, but also that our own personality and experiences also have an affect. 
• 21. How do you feel about the school system?
• It's necessary but also totally messed up. I was homeschooled most of my life, and didn't engage much in the public school system, but I know enough to say it needs work. 
• 22. Do you believe in fate/destiny?
• No. I don't.
• 23. What is art?
• Art is a method of self expression that portrays an emotion or feeling to someone else. 
• 24. Do we define ourselves, or does our past?
• We choose what parts of our past we allow to define us.
• 25. What happens after we die?
• That's a big question I'm totally not prepared to have any kind of answer for.
• 26. Do humans matter--tiny specs on a floating piece of rock in a solar 27. system in a galaxy in an infinite universe?
• We matter on our piece of floating rock. Other than that, does it really matter?
• 28. Is there good in everyone?
• I want to say yes. I really do think that there are no people who are truly evil. Something happened to make them that way. There may not be any good in them today, but that wasn't always true.
• 29. Does apathy really exist?
• Yes. For some people. 
• 29. Is human life only valuable because our society makes it?
• Yes, but that doesn't make it any less valuable. 
• 30. How do you feel about society, the vague “they” blamed for everything?
• You have to remember that we are part of the "they." When we blame "them" we blame ourselves. We, as a society, have to take responsibility for our own actions.  
• (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*LOVEY-DOVEY PREFERENCE STUFF*~✧』
• 31. What gender do you prefer?
• Male.
• 32. What’s the first thing you notice about someone?
• Their voice and the way they talk.
• 33. Could you love someone you found ugly?
• I think that a certain level of physical attraction is needed, but that sometimes physical attraction and emotional attraction don't come in that order.
• 34. Favorite hair color?
• I don't really know I have a favorite. I've liked guys with all sorts of hair.
• 35. Favorite eye color?
• I have an affinity for green eyes. They just look cool.
• 36. Ideal height?
• I really don't think height matters much. I'm short enough that basically every guy I've ever met is taller than me, and after that I really don't differentiate much. 
• 37. What do you look for--brains or looks?
• Brains. There are lots of good looking people out in the world, but if they don't appreciate good books and intelligence, their looks count for nothing. 

January 6, 2015 {First Day of Winter Quarter}

1. Got up painfully early to catch the bus to school.

2. Went to Math 141, (pre calc). I have mixed feelings about how this class is going to go, but I really like the instructor, so that's a plus from the get go.

3. I hung out for a few hours with various friends who I know to varying degrees. After a year and a half here, I know a lot of people and can't walk across campus without running into several people I know, but for some reason, it still always surprises me a bit.

4. Went to the first day of German 122. Since it's a continuation from 121 last quarter, it's not much different, though there are some new people. I have several friends in that class, and am generally pretty happy with that.

5. After German, I got some food and hung out with some friends until they eventually all left. I sort of half-slept on the couch for a while til another friend showed up and I hung out with him til we both had to leave.

6. I went to a workshop on writing personal statements which was part of my Writing Center ongoing training and then went home.

7. Ate dinner, watched Lost with mom and Isabelle, did what little homework I had, read Ulysses, and crashed pretty early. Not as early as I would have liked because of some other entanglements, but still early enough.