Today, the final installment in my favorite game series was released, and I'm really excited. The Submachine games aren't all that popular, but they are truly fantastic. The stories are amazing, the gameplay is clever, and the graphics and audio are always stunning and chilling.
I've been playing Submachine since about 2011, and I've been waiting for each subsequent installment since about number 6 or so. Today, Submachine 10: The Exit, was released, and I am so freaking excited to play it. It's like a tv series or book series. I'm so excited to know what happens, but also really sad it'll soon be over.
I've heard these games refered to as the "Lost" of online gaming, and I think that's fair.
You should all totally go look up Submachine now, and play them all from the beginning, but only if you have a lot of time and patience and don't mind getting very frustrated sometimes. And if you don't mind a fascinatingly creepy and complex story.
These games are fantastic. I'm off to play the new one. Go look them up and support Mateusz Skutnick's amazing work. That guy is fantastic. All his games and art are work checking out and supporting.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
A Year of Change: 2015
Now that 2015 is almost over, I think it's time for a review of the year. It's been a crazy year for me. Things have been changing rapidly, and it's both terrifying and also kind of awesome. Here are scattered pictures and links to past blog posts. This was my year.
Back in January, I was in my second quarter at Whatcom, and I was just beginning the college search process. The winter and spring for me were defined by visiting schools, deciding where to apply to, and a lot of personal growth. Being in college and taking much harder classes was challenging and forced me to grow and adapt a lot, and there were personal and social challenges that forced me to make decisions and grow up a lot very quickly.
Dancing really took off for me. In 2015, I had many chances to dance and perform and they were terrific. I learned a lot from those, and became a much more confident performer.
I had the opportunity to teach quite a bit. All of the winter, spring, and summer I was able to teach Latin classes to my very favorite students. I haven't been teaching the last few months, and I miss it so much. Over the summer, the Homeschool Academy was a big success and I taught things like dance, yoga, geology, literature, and more over my time there.
All year I volunteered at the library and also babysat for a family I love a lot. In the fall, I had the opportunity to get a job at the library, but had to turn it down for many reasons. I started working at the Writing Center at WCC, and that has also been a wonderful experience for me.
This summer was a great one. Along with the Homeschool Academy, there was the awesome trip to Oregon, and lots of time spent hanging out with friends.
This fall has been a time of a lot of transitions for me. I'm a full time college student now. I practically live at school. I'm working now. Socially, a lot of shifts have happened in my life too. A lot of changes happened in my dance life as well.
I finished my college applications, and now have gotten two acceptance letters.
On the whole, this year has been hard, but I've moved through it and honestly, I'm happier now than I've been in a long time. I have absolutely no idea what the next year is going to bring, and while that is pretty freaking terrifying, I'm also excited.
My interests changes a lot this year too. I got really into podcasts like Hello Internet, Nerdist, Welcome to Nightvale, and 99% Invisible. I've gotten into shows like Gravity Falls and Steven Universe. Don't Starve is my current favorite game, and has been for a long time now.
Life is a roller coaster that never stops getting crazier, but I'm a little more ready now. I wasn't prepared for this year, but I think it was a good test run for what I have coming. I made it through all this year's challenges stronger than ever and I'm ready to tackle whatever happens next. I hope.
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| We started the year out with a sleepover and some terrible selfies. |
Dancing really took off for me. In 2015, I had many chances to dance and perform and they were terrific. I learned a lot from those, and became a much more confident performer.
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| Highland Games 2015 |
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| This is from dancing at Boundary Bay Brewery - one of the best days I had all year.These are the memories I'll always cherish from the era of dancing that is now closing. |
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| Our dancing dream team. |
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| First dance performance with the new group. I have high hopes for us! |
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| I had a birthday and turned 17! |
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| I successfully pulled off a surprise party for my mom's birthday! |
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| A tree fell on my house. That wasn't the most fun. |
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| My favorite people in the world <3 |
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| Candid camping shots - these people are the best |
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| We went to see A Comedy of Errors in Vancouver! |
This fall has been a time of a lot of transitions for me. I'm a full time college student now. I practically live at school. I'm working now. Socially, a lot of shifts have happened in my life too. A lot of changes happened in my dance life as well.
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| I've gotten a lot more involved at school. As seen here: serving cake at the german club Winterfest. |
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| These chairs are my home now. |
I finished my college applications, and now have gotten two acceptance letters.
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| PLU sent the first acceptance letter. |
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| Some Bill Cypher art I did - cause why not? |
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| It's been crazy. |
Life is a roller coaster that never stops getting crazier, but I'm a little more ready now. I wasn't prepared for this year, but I think it was a good test run for what I have coming. I made it through all this year's challenges stronger than ever and I'm ready to tackle whatever happens next. I hope.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Finals are done!
Note, I wrote this all up on Sunday, then totally forgot to publish it. *smh*
Now that finals are over and a few days have passed, I have managed to gather the energy to do a life update here of what I've been up to the last few weeks. Last week was finals, and I had three finals, four take home tests, and two papers that all were due at various points in the week. It was exhausting.
This post is going to be in the style of a photo spam, with stories and such mixed it. If you're friends with me on Facebook and Snapchat, you've probably already seen a lot of these, but not all of them. They are in reverse chronological order because that's how blogger likes doing things, and I don't feel like changing it all manually right now.
Yesterday, our Irish dance group performed at a local nursing home, which was really great. It went well, we all looked good, and nobody really messed up much (except me at one point) which is rare.
Terrible quality picture from the rehearsal before the performance.
Crazy rainbow at school on Thursday. To the right of this picture, it was actually a double rainbow, but I didn't get a picture of that part.
Lots of late busses and fun stuff like that. Hopefully I'll be able to drive to school next quarter and not take the bus anymore. That would be awesome.
On Wednesday was the german club Winterfest, at which we sang lots of songs in German, had a Christmas tree with actual fire on it (that was a little scary) and lots of cookies and things like that.
My friend Damian made a cake that says "Frankreich ist supergeil" (which roughly means France is super sexy) on the top, with the French flag, but when you cut into it, has layers in the colors of the German flag. It was a big hit.
At the homeschool Christmas party last week, I had my name drawn in Elvish on my hand by one very talented friend.
Another wonderful friend did this artwork on my arm.
The Wednesday before finals, I took a shift tutoring in the library from 6-10, which meant I was at school for 14 hours that day. I don't usually say no to working extra hours when they are offered, though.
On the whole, the last few weeks have been incredibly exhausting, but school is now over until January 6th. I'm not totally sure what the break will bring, but hopefully good things, like sleep and Steven Universe. And maybe some friends and parties too.
Other things that have happened that I don't have pictures from include seeing the Nutcracker last night, which was absolutely fabulous, literally falling asleep on a couch at school after my last final on Friday because I had slept so little the night before, and
Now that finals are over and a few days have passed, I have managed to gather the energy to do a life update here of what I've been up to the last few weeks. Last week was finals, and I had three finals, four take home tests, and two papers that all were due at various points in the week. It was exhausting.
This post is going to be in the style of a photo spam, with stories and such mixed it. If you're friends with me on Facebook and Snapchat, you've probably already seen a lot of these, but not all of them. They are in reverse chronological order because that's how blogger likes doing things, and I don't feel like changing it all manually right now.
On the whole, the last few weeks have been incredibly exhausting, but school is now over until January 6th. I'm not totally sure what the break will bring, but hopefully good things, like sleep and Steven Universe. And maybe some friends and parties too.
Other things that have happened that I don't have pictures from include seeing the Nutcracker last night, which was absolutely fabulous, literally falling asleep on a couch at school after my last final on Friday because I had slept so little the night before, and
Friday, November 27, 2015
Thursday November 26, 2015 {Thanksgiving!}
1. Got up and didn't do much for a while. I convinced Isabelle to help me decide what to wear, and we spent quite a while trying to figure that out. Probably much longer than necessary, considering how those things usually go. :P
2. We went to my grandmother's house for our usual festivities. It was very small and quiet this year because none of my cousins were there. One was in Scotland and the other two were in Palm Springs, so none managed to make it.
3. After dinner (which was very good) and desert (which was also very good), we headed out pretty early and Isabelle and I went to our stepmom's sister's house, where there was more desert, which was also quite good. :P
4. We eventually made it home, watched some tv, read Ulysses, and went to bed surprisingly early.
2. We went to my grandmother's house for our usual festivities. It was very small and quiet this year because none of my cousins were there. One was in Scotland and the other two were in Palm Springs, so none managed to make it.
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| Look at this awesome shirt my grandma gave me! |
3. After dinner (which was very good) and desert (which was also very good), we headed out pretty early and Isabelle and I went to our stepmom's sister's house, where there was more desert, which was also quite good. :P
4. We eventually made it home, watched some tv, read Ulysses, and went to bed surprisingly early.
Wednesday November 26, 2015
1. First day of Thanksgiving break! Slept in a bit, though not that much since I woke up when mom left for work.
2. Over the course of the day, I did some writing, some math homework, and got a short workout in.
3. I chatted with various friends a lot, and considered starting Steven Universe, just cause I've heard so many good things about it, but I ended up not. Maybe over Christmas break I'll have time for that.
4. Mom and Isabelle went out for a while to feed some friend's cats, and I made fried rice for dinner and tried to get some more writing in.
5. They baked pies after they got home while I just sort of puttered around and did whatever. We watched lost, read Ulysses, and went to bed.
I feel like I did a lot more stuff than this on Wednesday, but for the life of me, I can't think of what it was.
2. Over the course of the day, I did some writing, some math homework, and got a short workout in.
3. I chatted with various friends a lot, and considered starting Steven Universe, just cause I've heard so many good things about it, but I ended up not. Maybe over Christmas break I'll have time for that.
4. Mom and Isabelle went out for a while to feed some friend's cats, and I made fried rice for dinner and tried to get some more writing in.
5. They baked pies after they got home while I just sort of puttered around and did whatever. We watched lost, read Ulysses, and went to bed.
I feel like I did a lot more stuff than this on Wednesday, but for the life of me, I can't think of what it was.
Tuesday November 25, 2015 {The Tree The Never Fell}
1. Took a math test. I really do not know how I did on it. I know I didn't outright fail it, but I also don't have a lot of confidence in how well I did.
2. In Philosophy, we watched this movie about the Shroud of Turin, which was interesting.
3. Went to work at the writing center, where it was not at all busy. I helped a few people, did an online response, and hung out a lot. We spent a lot of time watching this tree slowly be uprooted by the wind. It was quite windy and there was this tree that every time a big gust came by pulled up it's roots a little. When I left, it was still standing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's not standing on Monday.
4. My dad and Isabelle picked me up and we went to my dad's house. I did some writing for NaNoWriMo, watched the new episode of Gravity Falls (there's only one more left! :( ) and ate dinner.
5. Came home, watched Lost, read Ulysses, wrote a little more, went to bed.
2. In Philosophy, we watched this movie about the Shroud of Turin, which was interesting.
3. Went to work at the writing center, where it was not at all busy. I helped a few people, did an online response, and hung out a lot. We spent a lot of time watching this tree slowly be uprooted by the wind. It was quite windy and there was this tree that every time a big gust came by pulled up it's roots a little. When I left, it was still standing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's not standing on Monday.
4. My dad and Isabelle picked me up and we went to my dad's house. I did some writing for NaNoWriMo, watched the new episode of Gravity Falls (there's only one more left! :( ) and ate dinner.
5. Came home, watched Lost, read Ulysses, wrote a little more, went to bed.
Monday November 24, 2015 {German Christmas Songs}
1. Math was review for the test on Tuesday. Ugh.
2. Philosophy was philosophical.
3. Went to German, where Ben (our teacher) told us about German Christmas traditions and we sang German Christmas songs, which was actually quite fun. And he gave us no homework for the holiday, which makes him my favorite teacher at the moment. :P
4. Hung out with people for a while. On Mondays, I tend to stay in one spot for several hours while people rotate in and out around me, and today was no exception.
5. Lydia and I went to the co-op, and then she drove me to dance.
6. I hung out at Chocolate Necessities for a while, ate gelato (chocolate, chai tea, and peanut butter), and then went to dance.
7. Came home, ate dinner, went to bed.
2. Philosophy was philosophical.
3. Went to German, where Ben (our teacher) told us about German Christmas traditions and we sang German Christmas songs, which was actually quite fun. And he gave us no homework for the holiday, which makes him my favorite teacher at the moment. :P
4. Hung out with people for a while. On Mondays, I tend to stay in one spot for several hours while people rotate in and out around me, and today was no exception.
5. Lydia and I went to the co-op, and then she drove me to dance.
6. I hung out at Chocolate Necessities for a while, ate gelato (chocolate, chai tea, and peanut butter), and then went to dance.
7. Came home, ate dinner, went to bed.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Fri 11/20 and Sat 11/21 {Published!}
Friday, November 20, 2015
- Got up early, took bus to school, went to math. In class practice with the applications of linear equations. I am a little worried about this test. I mostly understand systems of linear equations, but I'm less confident about the matrices, and those are thing I tend to make lots of small mistakes on.
-Went to Philosophy.
-German. Adjective endings. This is the first time this really seems hard. This next test is going to be challenging.
-Hung out for a little while avoiding the cold. Went to catch a bus early since I didn't have anything to do, and ended up running into a friend while waiting for the bus, and walked off with him to try to help him get something done, and then walked to the bus station with him.
-I had a really interesting conversation with a friend about feminism, sexism, and the problems that arise when you are a running start student, or when you are a 17 year old girl traveling alone around town.
-Volunteered at the library, was picked up by Gloria, who graciously took me to the bank where I had to deposit a pay check and deal with some issue regarding my account.
-Seriously, that was a weirdly adult thing to do. I went to the bank by myself and had a full conversation with the teller about the weather and the new online banking system the bank has recently adopted (which sucks, we agreed), and other depressingly adult small talk. Weird stuff.
-I came home, worked on NaNoWriMo for a bit (i'm pretty behind, but I still have hope), had dinner, watched Lost, went to bed.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
-Got up, did a little homework and started reorganizing my closet (not a project I have time for right now) while trying to get my room ready for mom to paint it.
-Went to my dad's house and went out to lunch at D'Anna's (a great Italian restaurant) with my grandparents, my dad, and my step mom for my grandmother's birthday. We also went to Pure Bliss for desert.
-Came home, did some homework,
-Went shopping, got a new winter coat, which I desperately needed.
-Did more homework, plus some NaNo writing.
-I discovered that an essay I submitted to the college literary journal has now been published online! You should all go read it!
-Ate dinner, watched Lost, read Ulysses, went to bed.
- Got up early, took bus to school, went to math. In class practice with the applications of linear equations. I am a little worried about this test. I mostly understand systems of linear equations, but I'm less confident about the matrices, and those are thing I tend to make lots of small mistakes on.
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| Look how cold and dark it was when I got to school on Friday! |
-Went to Philosophy.
-German. Adjective endings. This is the first time this really seems hard. This next test is going to be challenging.
-Hung out for a little while avoiding the cold. Went to catch a bus early since I didn't have anything to do, and ended up running into a friend while waiting for the bus, and walked off with him to try to help him get something done, and then walked to the bus station with him.
-I had a really interesting conversation with a friend about feminism, sexism, and the problems that arise when you are a running start student, or when you are a 17 year old girl traveling alone around town.
-Volunteered at the library, was picked up by Gloria, who graciously took me to the bank where I had to deposit a pay check and deal with some issue regarding my account.
-Seriously, that was a weirdly adult thing to do. I went to the bank by myself and had a full conversation with the teller about the weather and the new online banking system the bank has recently adopted (which sucks, we agreed), and other depressingly adult small talk. Weird stuff.
-I came home, worked on NaNoWriMo for a bit (i'm pretty behind, but I still have hope), had dinner, watched Lost, went to bed.
Saturday, November 21, 2015
-Got up, did a little homework and started reorganizing my closet (not a project I have time for right now) while trying to get my room ready for mom to paint it.
-Went to my dad's house and went out to lunch at D'Anna's (a great Italian restaurant) with my grandparents, my dad, and my step mom for my grandmother's birthday. We also went to Pure Bliss for desert.
-Came home, did some homework,
-Went shopping, got a new winter coat, which I desperately needed.
-Did more homework, plus some NaNo writing.
-I discovered that an essay I submitted to the college literary journal has now been published online! You should all go read it!
-Ate dinner, watched Lost, read Ulysses, went to bed.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
11/14 and 11/15 {COMMON APP DONE!!!}
This is out of order but better late than never.
Saturday, 11/14
-Spent most of the morning and early afternoon working on college applications. Stressful stuff.
-At about 3pm, Lydia and her friend who was town for the weekend picked me up and we went to Fairhaven. We went to the cafe in Village Books and hung out there for a while.
-We walked down to Marine Park as it was getting dark, which was wet, cold, dark, and still super pretty.
-We went to Fat Pie Pizza for dinner, and took a selfie, as we do every time we go there. I have a whole collection of Fat Pie selfies now.
-We most certainly did not purchase fudge at paper dreams. We went back to Lydia's house to hang out. We watched almost all of Over the Garden Wall, which is freaking awesome. Some other friends showed up and we hung out for a couple of hours before they drove me home.
Sunday 11/1
-Continued to work on college apps, and got really stressed out but eventually submitted applications (via the common app) to Seattle U, University of Portland, Gonzaga, and PLU. Western still needs to be done, hopefully by next weekend.
-I went to Western to hang out with a friend who goes there. We don't spend a lot of time together, but recently have been talking and becoming better friends. I actually had a great time, and we talked a lot about all sorts of things including, but not limited to boys, and friends, and past shared experiences.
-Came home, did math homework, wrote for NaNoWriMo.
-Ate dinner, watched Lost, went to bed.
Saturday, 11/14
-Spent most of the morning and early afternoon working on college applications. Stressful stuff.
-At about 3pm, Lydia and her friend who was town for the weekend picked me up and we went to Fairhaven. We went to the cafe in Village Books and hung out there for a while.
-We walked down to Marine Park as it was getting dark, which was wet, cold, dark, and still super pretty.
-We went to Fat Pie Pizza for dinner, and took a selfie, as we do every time we go there. I have a whole collection of Fat Pie selfies now.
-We most certainly did not purchase fudge at paper dreams. We went back to Lydia's house to hang out. We watched almost all of Over the Garden Wall, which is freaking awesome. Some other friends showed up and we hung out for a couple of hours before they drove me home.
Sunday 11/1
-Continued to work on college apps, and got really stressed out but eventually submitted applications (via the common app) to Seattle U, University of Portland, Gonzaga, and PLU. Western still needs to be done, hopefully by next weekend.
-I went to Western to hang out with a friend who goes there. We don't spend a lot of time together, but recently have been talking and becoming better friends. I actually had a great time, and we talked a lot about all sorts of things including, but not limited to boys, and friends, and past shared experiences.
-Came home, did math homework, wrote for NaNoWriMo.
-Ate dinner, watched Lost, went to bed.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
11/16 and 11/17 {Being Grumpy}
Yesterday started out well. I got my most recent math test back and was quite happy with the grade I ended up with. Philosophy class was understandably depressing as we discussed the Paris attacks. It was an engaging class, and it definitely made me think about the details of those attacks in a way I hadn't before.
German was canceled (yay!) so I went to Westside to get pizza with a friend of mine and one of his classmates. After we got back from that, I ended up hanging out for most of the afternoon, doing homework for a while and just hanging out most of the time.
At 4:30, I had a doctor's appointment (ugh), which was fine until the end when I unexpectedly had to get three shots. I don't do well with needles or shots or really any medical stuff at all, so that wasn't a fun surprise. I also almost blacked out when I stood up to leave and they made me stay for a while and gave me apple juice.
Today's just been weird. Philosophy was strange. We had a Christian Scientist man come to talk to us about his religion, which was fine but a little frustrating at moments. The writing center was busy when I first started, but has gotten much quieter (as per the usual).
NaNoWriMo is going okayish, but I've gotten behind while dealing with college applications and such. My plan was to write a bunch at the Writing Center during quiet moment, but my left arm, which got three shots in it yesterday, is really sore and kind of painful. It's actually making it really hard to type cause tensing my arm hurts.
Admittedly, that's just an excuse, but it's a semi-legit excuse. :P
I've been in the same building for the last five hours, but I've been looking out the windows and it looks terrible out there. Windy, rainy, and super dark. I'm not a fan of this kind of weather.
That wasn't the most upbeat update I've done in a while. I'll try to complain less next time. :P
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| Random selfie. Aren't we just the cutest? |
German was canceled (yay!) so I went to Westside to get pizza with a friend of mine and one of his classmates. After we got back from that, I ended up hanging out for most of the afternoon, doing homework for a while and just hanging out most of the time.
At 4:30, I had a doctor's appointment (ugh), which was fine until the end when I unexpectedly had to get three shots. I don't do well with needles or shots or really any medical stuff at all, so that wasn't a fun surprise. I also almost blacked out when I stood up to leave and they made me stay for a while and gave me apple juice.
Today's just been weird. Philosophy was strange. We had a Christian Scientist man come to talk to us about his religion, which was fine but a little frustrating at moments. The writing center was busy when I first started, but has gotten much quieter (as per the usual).
NaNoWriMo is going okayish, but I've gotten behind while dealing with college applications and such. My plan was to write a bunch at the Writing Center during quiet moment, but my left arm, which got three shots in it yesterday, is really sore and kind of painful. It's actually making it really hard to type cause tensing my arm hurts.
Admittedly, that's just an excuse, but it's a semi-legit excuse. :P
I've been in the same building for the last five hours, but I've been looking out the windows and it looks terrible out there. Windy, rainy, and super dark. I'm not a fan of this kind of weather.
That wasn't the most upbeat update I've done in a while. I'll try to complain less next time. :P
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Wednesday November 11, 2015 {Parkday!}
-Since it was Veteran's Day, there was no school. I got up late(ish) and worked on college apps for most of the morning.
-The guy who has been fixing our downstairs wall came back and finished up what was left to be done.
-I got to go to park day for the first time since September! It was super weird, and the feelings that I had while there are making me want to write a much longer blog post. Maybe this weekend?
-I'm definitely glad I got to go and see some friends I rarely see. I may have gotten talked into babysitting again, which may or may not be a good thing. :P
-Came home, ate dinner, worked on Philosophy take home quiz that is due Friday.
-Researched Portland State University as an additional school to apply to (it has definitely been added to my "needs more research" list. I'll probably apply since it's easy to do, and then research more and try to visit after that)
-Freaked out a little about school, dating, money, the future, and everything else.
-Watched Lost, read Heart of Darkness, went to bed.
-The guy who has been fixing our downstairs wall came back and finished up what was left to be done.
-I got to go to park day for the first time since September! It was super weird, and the feelings that I had while there are making me want to write a much longer blog post. Maybe this weekend?
-I'm definitely glad I got to go and see some friends I rarely see. I may have gotten talked into babysitting again, which may or may not be a good thing. :P
-Came home, ate dinner, worked on Philosophy take home quiz that is due Friday.
-Researched Portland State University as an additional school to apply to (it has definitely been added to my "needs more research" list. I'll probably apply since it's easy to do, and then research more and try to visit after that)
-Freaked out a little about school, dating, money, the future, and everything else.
-Watched Lost, read Heart of Darkness, went to bed.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
11/9 and 11/10 {So cold!}
November 9th
-Math class was test review.
- Talked to CP for a while re: 3D printing, which was nice. We don't see each other much anymore.
-Philosophy, watched a movie about Tibetan monks.
-German, learned how to tell time, which was surprisingly challenging.
-Hung out with various friend for various times. I stayed in one place and they came and went around me.
-Headed to dance, sat in Chocolate Necessities and listened to the new Hello Internet. Gelato flavors: chocolate, mint chip, vanilla.
-Went to dance, had a good class.
-Panda Express to pick up dinner, then home and bed.
November 10th
-It was 31 degrees when I was waiting for the bus at 7:30. So cold!
-Math test. I finished second, so who knows what happened.
-Philosophy. More of the same.
-Writing Center. I worked from 11:30-4 today, an hour more than usual cause I was covering for a co-worker who couldn't be there. It was mostly quiet, I did do my first online response, which was interesting and kind of scary.
-Hung out with Jake for a while as he was nice enough to keep me company near the end of my shift.
-Went to my dad's house for dinner.
-Came home, watched Lost, went to sleep.
-Math class was test review.
- Talked to CP for a while re: 3D printing, which was nice. We don't see each other much anymore.
-Philosophy, watched a movie about Tibetan monks.
-German, learned how to tell time, which was surprisingly challenging.
-Hung out with various friend for various times. I stayed in one place and they came and went around me.
-Headed to dance, sat in Chocolate Necessities and listened to the new Hello Internet. Gelato flavors: chocolate, mint chip, vanilla.
-Went to dance, had a good class.
-Panda Express to pick up dinner, then home and bed.
November 10th
-It was 31 degrees when I was waiting for the bus at 7:30. So cold!
-Math test. I finished second, so who knows what happened.
-Philosophy. More of the same.
-Writing Center. I worked from 11:30-4 today, an hour more than usual cause I was covering for a co-worker who couldn't be there. It was mostly quiet, I did do my first online response, which was interesting and kind of scary.
-Hung out with Jake for a while as he was nice enough to keep me company near the end of my shift.
-Went to my dad's house for dinner.
-Came home, watched Lost, went to sleep.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Daily Outlines 11/6 and 11/7
Like Spencer, I'm having trouble at the moment with even outlines, so I'm going to go even more minimalist and do just greatest hits, leaving out anything not too important. Hopefully that'll help me get around to blogging a little more often. I do like having these daily records.
November 6th
-In math was in class group problem sets involving using logs. No one finished, and I went to the math center with another guy from my group to finish. I ended up helping him with the stuff I'd already done and left as confused as I arrived. I have since continued to try to figure it out, but I don't even have any idea where I went wrong, much less what I might do to fix it. I think I'll go to my instructor's office hours on Monday.
-Philosophy was kind of boring. Still didn't grade our quizzes from last week.
- German, talked about noun cases. They have Nominative, Genitive, Dative, and Accusative, all of which mean just what I would expect. My teacher made me kind of infuriated when he used the sentence "The man threw the football to the kid" as an example of an indirect object. I know why he did, I totally get it, but still. That is an object of the preposition. Not an indirect object. Luckily I contained my frustration and didn't say anything, but I was thinking of Heidi the whole time (she is known in our Latin classes for getting annoyed at the textbook for making that very error).
-I hung out and ate lunch then when to the library to volunteer. Got a ride home with Gloria.
-Wrote, ate dinner, watched Lost.
November 7th
-Got up, did some math homework (I have gotten kind of behind and I need to get caught up before the next test).
-Went to the YARC meeting, another small group today. Got two books, one of which I'm pretty excited about.
-Went to my grandmother's house for lunch, because my aunt was in town and it was recently Isabelle's birthday.
-While we were there, I interviewed my grandmother for my Philosophy class, which was very interesting.
-Went home, did a little more homework, wrote, watched Doctor Who and Lost.
November 6th
-In math was in class group problem sets involving using logs. No one finished, and I went to the math center with another guy from my group to finish. I ended up helping him with the stuff I'd already done and left as confused as I arrived. I have since continued to try to figure it out, but I don't even have any idea where I went wrong, much less what I might do to fix it. I think I'll go to my instructor's office hours on Monday.
-Philosophy was kind of boring. Still didn't grade our quizzes from last week.
- German, talked about noun cases. They have Nominative, Genitive, Dative, and Accusative, all of which mean just what I would expect. My teacher made me kind of infuriated when he used the sentence "The man threw the football to the kid" as an example of an indirect object. I know why he did, I totally get it, but still. That is an object of the preposition. Not an indirect object. Luckily I contained my frustration and didn't say anything, but I was thinking of Heidi the whole time (she is known in our Latin classes for getting annoyed at the textbook for making that very error).
-I hung out and ate lunch then when to the library to volunteer. Got a ride home with Gloria.
-Wrote, ate dinner, watched Lost.
November 7th
-Got up, did some math homework (I have gotten kind of behind and I need to get caught up before the next test).
-Went to the YARC meeting, another small group today. Got two books, one of which I'm pretty excited about.
-Went to my grandmother's house for lunch, because my aunt was in town and it was recently Isabelle's birthday.
-While we were there, I interviewed my grandmother for my Philosophy class, which was very interesting.
-Went home, did a little more homework, wrote, watched Doctor Who and Lost.
General Updates - NaNoWriMo Week One
It's now one week into NaNoWriMo, and I'M NOT BEHIND YET! I was just looking at my stats from previous years, and I have a higher wordcount now than I've ever had on Day 8. I'm feeling pretty good about this, because now even if I get behind later, I probably won't get as behind as I have in the past.
Right now, I'm in this strange state of drained energy. I'm not totally sure why. I've slept in both of the last two days and haven't done much strenuous stuff this weekend, but I still feel really low energy.
This week, I took a German test, wrote a lot, got frustrated over my math homework, went to dance, volunteered at the library, and hung out with my friends a lot, though not necessarily in that order.
Right now, I'm in this strange state of drained energy. I'm not totally sure why. I've slept in both of the last two days and haven't done much strenuous stuff this weekend, but I still feel really low energy.
This week, I took a German test, wrote a lot, got frustrated over my math homework, went to dance, volunteered at the library, and hung out with my friends a lot, though not necessarily in that order.
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| I went to my stepbrothers end of season soccer party and ended up being a bit of a wallflower. Ten year old boys are kind of loud. I sat on my phone most of the time. |
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| Writing at school one early morning before math. |
Sunday, November 1, 2015
NaNoWriMo: Day 1
NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) has officially begun!
I waffled a lot about whether I was going to participate this year, but I have decided to go for it. I have an idea that I really love, and I think that with some careful planning, I can make this happen. I hope. I must admit that I am going directly against the advice of my two best friends by doing this, so if I crash and burn spectacularly, they'll get to say "I told you so."
As of right now, I have 2375 words. I didn't have too much homework to do today, so I got up and immediately started writing. One of the things I'm going to have to do this year is try to write a lot more than 1667 (the daily average you have to hit) on weekends and other days I have free time, because I know for sure there will be days where I can't hit 1667.
Right now, I have a lot of momentum, which is awesome. I know what I'm going to write tomorrow (which is definitely a good thing), and I'm hoping the momentum I have right now will carry me through the next few days.
I have enough of a plan this year that I sort of know where I'm going, which is helpful. I'm usually a pretty hardcore pantser, but this year I think having some structure and plan will help on those days that I have no energy but still desperately need to write.
I waffled a lot about whether I was going to participate this year, but I have decided to go for it. I have an idea that I really love, and I think that with some careful planning, I can make this happen. I hope. I must admit that I am going directly against the advice of my two best friends by doing this, so if I crash and burn spectacularly, they'll get to say "I told you so."
As of right now, I have 2375 words. I didn't have too much homework to do today, so I got up and immediately started writing. One of the things I'm going to have to do this year is try to write a lot more than 1667 (the daily average you have to hit) on weekends and other days I have free time, because I know for sure there will be days where I can't hit 1667.
Right now, I have a lot of momentum, which is awesome. I know what I'm going to write tomorrow (which is definitely a good thing), and I'm hoping the momentum I have right now will carry me through the next few days.
I have enough of a plan this year that I sort of know where I'm going, which is helpful. I'm usually a pretty hardcore pantser, but this year I think having some structure and plan will help on those days that I have no energy but still desperately need to write.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Making Friends and Class Update
Another day, another ramble.
Today, I had a math test. I wasn't very worried about it, because I'd been doing well on all the homework (and I'd actually remembered to do the homework, which is good!). I finished it really quickly, which is somewhat typical for me, as I tend to be a fast test taker, but it was faster than I expected for a math test. I'm not totally sure how well I did, but I actually feel pretty hopeful that I did quite well.
I've been doing pretty well in German, and those classes tend to be fun, just because there are some cool people. I haven't done as well as I would like on the tests, but I don't think that'll be a problem in the long run.
In Intro to Religion, we finally finished this movie called "The Mission, from the 80's, which was actually quite good. I'm a little confused in general about the class itself, but I know I have a good grade in it.
One thing I've been thinking about recently is how I don't really make friends very easily. I think it's mostly because I get shy and nervous and don't really like talking to people I don't know well. Most of the people I've become friends with in the last year or two are pretty outgoing people who have been willing to push me a little, and force me out of my comfort zone. Eventually, they are no longer strangers, and at that point, it's all good.
I think that sometimes, I probably tend to have body language that drives people away to some extent. A lot of the friends I've had forever tend to be quiet, mild people, but the new friends I have tend to be much more outgoing. No particular thoughts here, just rambling observations.
Today, I had a math test. I wasn't very worried about it, because I'd been doing well on all the homework (and I'd actually remembered to do the homework, which is good!). I finished it really quickly, which is somewhat typical for me, as I tend to be a fast test taker, but it was faster than I expected for a math test. I'm not totally sure how well I did, but I actually feel pretty hopeful that I did quite well.
I've been doing pretty well in German, and those classes tend to be fun, just because there are some cool people. I haven't done as well as I would like on the tests, but I don't think that'll be a problem in the long run.
In Intro to Religion, we finally finished this movie called "The Mission, from the 80's, which was actually quite good. I'm a little confused in general about the class itself, but I know I have a good grade in it.
One thing I've been thinking about recently is how I don't really make friends very easily. I think it's mostly because I get shy and nervous and don't really like talking to people I don't know well. Most of the people I've become friends with in the last year or two are pretty outgoing people who have been willing to push me a little, and force me out of my comfort zone. Eventually, they are no longer strangers, and at that point, it's all good.
I think that sometimes, I probably tend to have body language that drives people away to some extent. A lot of the friends I've had forever tend to be quiet, mild people, but the new friends I have tend to be much more outgoing. No particular thoughts here, just rambling observations.
Monday, October 26, 2015
WWU Fall Welcome
Last weekend, my mom and I went to Western for their "Fall Welcome," which is an event for prospective students to learn about different aspects of the University.
We got there at about 10:45, and went to a very short welcome session, where they basically just told us what the schedule was and then sent us on our way. After that, we went to an info session about their travel abroad programs, which was interesting, but didn't really have much new information in it.
A bunch of the dorms had open room that you could go visit, so we went to see a few. I have seen a lot of dorm rooms in the last year, and honestly, they are all kind of the same. The one thing that was surprising at Western was the difference between some of the buildings. Some seemed much nicer than others.
We wandered around the library a bit. I love college libraries, and this was no exception. There were some awesome rooms and stuff there. Unfortunately, I forgot to get any pictures of anything we did while we were there. We also talked briefly with an admissions counselor about transcripts (how to make them) and classes I've taken at WCC (if they'll transfer). Of course, as soon as we got home, I remembered a few other questions I should have asked. Whenever they ask "Are there any other questions I can answer for you," my mind goes totally blank and I can't think of anything.
There was a second information session we went to about Financial Aid. I've done enough of this college fair stuff now that I feel like I know quite a bit about how this stuff works, but there was some stuff in that talk that I hadn't thought about before. When that was over, we headed home.
In general, I was a little disappointed with the event. The main thing I wanted to do there was talk to someone from the English department, but they didn't have anyone available to talk to.
Despite how underwhelming the event itself was, WWU still is my favorite choice right now. That doesn't mean I'll definitely go there, but it has a lot of stuff going for it. Maybe I'll write another post more in depth about that later...
We got there at about 10:45, and went to a very short welcome session, where they basically just told us what the schedule was and then sent us on our way. After that, we went to an info session about their travel abroad programs, which was interesting, but didn't really have much new information in it.
A bunch of the dorms had open room that you could go visit, so we went to see a few. I have seen a lot of dorm rooms in the last year, and honestly, they are all kind of the same. The one thing that was surprising at Western was the difference between some of the buildings. Some seemed much nicer than others.
We wandered around the library a bit. I love college libraries, and this was no exception. There were some awesome rooms and stuff there. Unfortunately, I forgot to get any pictures of anything we did while we were there. We also talked briefly with an admissions counselor about transcripts (how to make them) and classes I've taken at WCC (if they'll transfer). Of course, as soon as we got home, I remembered a few other questions I should have asked. Whenever they ask "Are there any other questions I can answer for you," my mind goes totally blank and I can't think of anything.
There was a second information session we went to about Financial Aid. I've done enough of this college fair stuff now that I feel like I know quite a bit about how this stuff works, but there was some stuff in that talk that I hadn't thought about before. When that was over, we headed home.
In general, I was a little disappointed with the event. The main thing I wanted to do there was talk to someone from the English department, but they didn't have anyone available to talk to.
Despite how underwhelming the event itself was, WWU still is my favorite choice right now. That doesn't mean I'll definitely go there, but it has a lot of stuff going for it. Maybe I'll write another post more in depth about that later...
Friday, October 23, 2015
Classes
This quarter feels like it just started, and already it's time to register for winter classes! Today, I went in to see the high school counselor so that she could sign my registration form. Next Wednesday is my registration date, so I just need to decide what I'm going to take before then.
I know I'll be taking Precalc I (my last math class!), and German II, but I have one other spot in which to put an elective. That's where I'm getting conflicted. I've narrowed it down to either a Sci-fi/Fantasy lit class, or a Children's Lit class. Both sound awesome, so I'm not sure which I'll go with yet.
In the spring, I'll be taking Chemistry, and World Civ III, plus an elective. I think I'm probably going to take an English class about Sir Arthur Canon Doyle (cause why the heck not??), but that could change if something else comes up before then.
My classes this quarter have been going well so far. Math is going way better than I had expected, though I'll be glad when it's over. My Intro to Religion class is kind of weird, and while it's super easy (which is great), the teacher kind of rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I do find the topics interesting, but it's definitely my least favorite class at the moment. German is surprisingly fun. It's pretty easy for the most part, though I know I'll need to start working harder as we get out of super easy stuff. There are some pretty cool people in that class, which makes it really fun.
I've also started working at the Writing Center at WCC this quarter. I was pretty nervous about starting there, but I've started getting the hang of it, and I do enjoy working with people on their writing. I'm "on-call" for ESLA (English as a Second Language Academic) students, who need help with their grammar, and I've been learning a ton doing that. All my co-workers at the WC are really nice, and always have really interesting conversations during downtime (which there is quite a bit of some days).
I've been working on my college applications. For the most part, they are going pretty well. The applications themselves are done, and now I'm just working on essays. I am feeling pretty good about the personal statement I've been working on, but some of the questions the schools ask are hard.
I may yet do NaNoWriMo. I have decided that if I can finish my college apps before Nov. 1st, then I can do NaNo. I think it's doable, and I'm really excited. The idea I'm currently thinking I'll go with involves a collection of shorter narratives that all have a common theme. Characters are the part of writing fiction that I really like, so I want the stories to almost be more like extended character sketches. It bends the rules of NaNoWriMo a bit, but that's kind of the point.
There's a recap of what's in my brain today.
Monday, October 19, 2015
Monday October 19, 2015
1. Got up at 6:30 and got ready to go.
2. Waited for the bus, then rode it into campus in time for math class.
3. After math (the topic was combining functions), I ate some breakfast (my left over Chipotle from last night) and hung out with Lydia for a bit.
4. Went to Philisophy and watched a video about how Native American tribes traditionally percieve gender and sexuality in relation to LGBTQ people, which was actually quite interesting.
5. Headed straight to German, which was somewhat boring, but having interesting classmates makes it fun. German has some pretty cool people in it, though somehow I keep having to do partner work with the least motivated, most boring people in the class. Oh well.
6. After German, I hung out with all my various WCC friends for a while. After most of them scattered to their respective classes, Lydia and I (and HW for some of it) talked about boys. Cause that's what we do. ;)
7. I took the bus downtown to volunteer at the library, then hung around for a while waiting for my ride to dance (and gelato).
8. Gelato flavors of the week: Caramel apple and red velvet.
9. Dance class was good, though very small. Three of us for the first class, two of us for the second.
10. Came home and ate dinner. Read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, and went to bed.
2. Waited for the bus, then rode it into campus in time for math class.
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| A selfie while waiting for the bus. I rarely take selfies ever, much less in public spaces, but it was 7:30am and no one else was around. Plus, as friends on facebook pointed out, there are fish swimming into my ear! |
4. Went to Philisophy and watched a video about how Native American tribes traditionally percieve gender and sexuality in relation to LGBTQ people, which was actually quite interesting.
5. Headed straight to German, which was somewhat boring, but having interesting classmates makes it fun. German has some pretty cool people in it, though somehow I keep having to do partner work with the least motivated, most boring people in the class. Oh well.
6. After German, I hung out with all my various WCC friends for a while. After most of them scattered to their respective classes, Lydia and I (and HW for some of it) talked about boys. Cause that's what we do. ;)
7. I took the bus downtown to volunteer at the library, then hung around for a while waiting for my ride to dance (and gelato).
8. Gelato flavors of the week: Caramel apple and red velvet.
9. Dance class was good, though very small. Three of us for the first class, two of us for the second.
10. Came home and ate dinner. Read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, and went to bed.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Friday October 16, 2015 {The Martian}
I've been pretty bad at posting regularly since school started, so I'm going to try to get back into writing journal posts as much as possible. Because there so many gaps of time where I haven't posted, there will probably be some context missing for what I'm up to. I'll try to add what I feel are apprpriate explainations when possible, but sometimes I'll just let it slide.
1. Mom wasn't carpooling this morning, so we didn't have to leave as early as usual. I got up and ready, and then she dropped me off at the bus. I rode in to school, and arrived at about 8:15.
2. Math was fine. We're in a unit on functions that is honestly kind of boring. It also includes a lot of graphing (or at least, it soon will), which I'm not fond of. On the whole though, I'm actually kind of like this math class. I like my teacher a lot, at least.
3. I hung out in Syre for a while with Lydia while eating some breakfast, then headed to Philosophy.
4. In Philosophy, we watched a ted talk by Helen Fisher called "The Brain in Love," which led to some interesting discussion. I can't decide how I feel about this class. I both enjoy how informal and just generally strange it is, but those same things can be a bit infuriating at times.
5. Immediately after that class was over, I had German. That class is super strange in that people regularly sit in different places. Probably half the class (including me) always sit in the same spot, but the other people are all over the place. The spot next to me is oddly in demand. I've had a number of different people sit there. There is one guy who sits there most of the time, and who I usually pair up with for partner exercises, but if he gets there late, someone else always takes that spot.
6. I hung out for a while on campus after class, and while I was sitting in Syre, Ben, my German instructor, walked by and started quizzing me, and wouldn't leave until I had properly told him that yes, the sun was shining, and yes, the sky was blue.
7. I took the bus back to Barkley, where Gloria picked me up and brought me home.
8. We had dinner (and a guy was there fixing my bedroom wall), and when all that was done, we went to watch The Martian.
9. I've read the book, and I think the movie was as good as the book. I wouldn't say it was better for all sorts of reasons that I'll write a blog post about if I have time, but it was pretty great.
10. Read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs, then went to bed.
1. Mom wasn't carpooling this morning, so we didn't have to leave as early as usual. I got up and ready, and then she dropped me off at the bus. I rode in to school, and arrived at about 8:15.
2. Math was fine. We're in a unit on functions that is honestly kind of boring. It also includes a lot of graphing (or at least, it soon will), which I'm not fond of. On the whole though, I'm actually kind of like this math class. I like my teacher a lot, at least.
3. I hung out in Syre for a while with Lydia while eating some breakfast, then headed to Philosophy.
4. In Philosophy, we watched a ted talk by Helen Fisher called "The Brain in Love," which led to some interesting discussion. I can't decide how I feel about this class. I both enjoy how informal and just generally strange it is, but those same things can be a bit infuriating at times.
5. Immediately after that class was over, I had German. That class is super strange in that people regularly sit in different places. Probably half the class (including me) always sit in the same spot, but the other people are all over the place. The spot next to me is oddly in demand. I've had a number of different people sit there. There is one guy who sits there most of the time, and who I usually pair up with for partner exercises, but if he gets there late, someone else always takes that spot.
6. I hung out for a while on campus after class, and while I was sitting in Syre, Ben, my German instructor, walked by and started quizzing me, and wouldn't leave until I had properly told him that yes, the sun was shining, and yes, the sky was blue.
7. I took the bus back to Barkley, where Gloria picked me up and brought me home.
8. We had dinner (and a guy was there fixing my bedroom wall), and when all that was done, we went to watch The Martian.
9. I've read the book, and I think the movie was as good as the book. I wouldn't say it was better for all sorts of reasons that I'll write a blog post about if I have time, but it was pretty great.
10. Read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs, then went to bed.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Struggles
I'm sure I've said this before on this blog, and I'm sure I'll say it again some time. This is a public venue. What I choose to publish here is visible to the world, and I'm aware of that. Because of that, the life that is represented on this blog isn't a full representation of who I am. And anyone reading this is probably aware of that. I don't think anyone really expects me to bare my soul on here every day.
With that said, I do a lot of writing that I never publish on the internet, or submit to a teacher. When I'm worried, or sad, or just having a bad day, I write about it. I'm a pretty wordy person. That's what I do. Sometimes, I go back and read some of the things I've written and think, "Wow, somewhere in here, there's a great blog post." Usually, that blog post is buried under personal stories and names, and other details that aren't appropriate for such a public space. But in there somewhere is an idea that is worth writing about, and worth expressing to the world.
And that brings me to what I want to talk about today. I haven't been doing much writing on paper, or on a keyboard lately, but I've been writing in my head (which I do sometimes when I can't actually write), and I have some ideas that keep coming up.
It all boils down to a collection of words for me. Right now, those words that sum up what I'm feeling are "loss," "uncertainty," "hope," "fear," and "choices." Here are a collection of my thoughts about those words. It's a tad incoherent, but it gives some insight into my psyche.
Loss. Why loss? Lately, I've gone through some experiences that make me feel like I'm losing some things from my life. A person who is instrumental in my life has moved away, and that's been hard. Being the word oriented person I am, I wrote her a letter that I gave her before she left. It started out as a quick note to attach to some chocolates, but it ended up being over a page and a half long. Why did I write that? Because it was important to me that she knew how much I appreciated her, and how influential she had been in my life. Because I needed the closer that writing it provided.
Uncertainty. I am constantly uncertain about how people see me. I think that I am relatively bad at portraying emotions, and I often worry that others don't really see how I feel. I worry that the people I love don't really see that I care about them. The uncertainty about where I stand is hard. That's another reason that I wrote that letter. I wanted to make sure she knew that she is important to me, and is a person I care a lot. I can't necessarily say those things easily, but I can write them.
Hope. Uncertainty takes other forms too. I'm also uncertain about much of my future. I just don't know what's going to happen. But I do have hope. That hope is hard to find some days, but it's there. I know that there are a lot of good things that can happen. Hope is also something I need more of. I need to be more hopeful, because it's really true that there are lots of good things that are yet to be discovered. I have moments when a friend texts me a random thought which clearly says that they have been thinking about me. That gives me hope that I'm not terrible at relationships.
Fear. Fear is the flipside of hope. I hope good things will happen, but I fear that they won't. When I don't know if people realize I care about them, will they still stick with me? Where will I be living in a year? Will I be happy? What if I can't fix all the problems I have? What if I can't keep up with all my classes? Uncertainty leads to fear.
Choices. In the end, there is always a choice. People have been telling me that for years, and I've spent plenty of time arguing against it. "Yeah, sure, I can choose not to be so worked up about this, but did you hear what he said?!" "Okay, whatever, so I can choose not to spend time thinking about this, but what will happen if I don't figure out what to do??" Those are still hard for me. I'm not good at choosing happiness. I'm not good at letting go of things.
But in the end, choice is often the difference between fear and hope. I may still be fearful, but by choosing to wallow in the fear, it's possible to close doors that lead to a more hopeful outcome. I want to be ready to choose hope when it comes knocking. I don't want uncertainty to force me to choose fear because it's familiar. Sometimes loss happens either way, and that's the way life is.
Right now, loss is at the top of my mind. And I'm choosing to be sad, because I need to be. Honestly, I'm not very good at letting myself be sad, but I'm choosing to allow it to happen. But in the long run, I'm trying to convert uncertainty to hope, while still recognizing that fear has it's place.
With that said, I do a lot of writing that I never publish on the internet, or submit to a teacher. When I'm worried, or sad, or just having a bad day, I write about it. I'm a pretty wordy person. That's what I do. Sometimes, I go back and read some of the things I've written and think, "Wow, somewhere in here, there's a great blog post." Usually, that blog post is buried under personal stories and names, and other details that aren't appropriate for such a public space. But in there somewhere is an idea that is worth writing about, and worth expressing to the world.
And that brings me to what I want to talk about today. I haven't been doing much writing on paper, or on a keyboard lately, but I've been writing in my head (which I do sometimes when I can't actually write), and I have some ideas that keep coming up.
It all boils down to a collection of words for me. Right now, those words that sum up what I'm feeling are "loss," "uncertainty," "hope," "fear," and "choices." Here are a collection of my thoughts about those words. It's a tad incoherent, but it gives some insight into my psyche.
Loss. Why loss? Lately, I've gone through some experiences that make me feel like I'm losing some things from my life. A person who is instrumental in my life has moved away, and that's been hard. Being the word oriented person I am, I wrote her a letter that I gave her before she left. It started out as a quick note to attach to some chocolates, but it ended up being over a page and a half long. Why did I write that? Because it was important to me that she knew how much I appreciated her, and how influential she had been in my life. Because I needed the closer that writing it provided.
Uncertainty. I am constantly uncertain about how people see me. I think that I am relatively bad at portraying emotions, and I often worry that others don't really see how I feel. I worry that the people I love don't really see that I care about them. The uncertainty about where I stand is hard. That's another reason that I wrote that letter. I wanted to make sure she knew that she is important to me, and is a person I care a lot. I can't necessarily say those things easily, but I can write them.
Hope. Uncertainty takes other forms too. I'm also uncertain about much of my future. I just don't know what's going to happen. But I do have hope. That hope is hard to find some days, but it's there. I know that there are a lot of good things that can happen. Hope is also something I need more of. I need to be more hopeful, because it's really true that there are lots of good things that are yet to be discovered. I have moments when a friend texts me a random thought which clearly says that they have been thinking about me. That gives me hope that I'm not terrible at relationships.
Fear. Fear is the flipside of hope. I hope good things will happen, but I fear that they won't. When I don't know if people realize I care about them, will they still stick with me? Where will I be living in a year? Will I be happy? What if I can't fix all the problems I have? What if I can't keep up with all my classes? Uncertainty leads to fear.
Choices. In the end, there is always a choice. People have been telling me that for years, and I've spent plenty of time arguing against it. "Yeah, sure, I can choose not to be so worked up about this, but did you hear what he said?!" "Okay, whatever, so I can choose not to spend time thinking about this, but what will happen if I don't figure out what to do??" Those are still hard for me. I'm not good at choosing happiness. I'm not good at letting go of things.
But in the end, choice is often the difference between fear and hope. I may still be fearful, but by choosing to wallow in the fear, it's possible to close doors that lead to a more hopeful outcome. I want to be ready to choose hope when it comes knocking. I don't want uncertainty to force me to choose fear because it's familiar. Sometimes loss happens either way, and that's the way life is.
Right now, loss is at the top of my mind. And I'm choosing to be sad, because I need to be. Honestly, I'm not very good at letting myself be sad, but I'm choosing to allow it to happen. But in the long run, I'm trying to convert uncertainty to hope, while still recognizing that fear has it's place.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
One Week In
Well, we're one week into school, and I'm a lot happier about it than I thought I'd be.
I wasn't really looking forward to this year. I'm taking Math and German, two classes I wasn't excited about. I knew college applications would have to take up a lot of my time. I knew from experience that 8:30 classes aren't a lot of fun.
But then school started this week and a couple of things happened. I realized that if I took showers at night, I could get up a full twenty to thirty minutes later in the morning. That may not sound like a lot, but 6:00 and 6:30 are a world apart.
I went to my first few Math classes (I'm in Math 99, which is the second quarter of Algebra II), and discovered that not only do I really like my teacher, I also know a lot of the material already. I have also discovered the joy of 50 minute classes. Last year, I had all 90 minute or 2 hour classes, and those one hour classes are awesome. They feel so short!
I discovered that my Philosphy class has very little homework, and much of the grade is based on a few papers. Not just that, but the papers aren't graded on whether you mentioned certain facts, or got certain things correct, but instead on the process, writing quality, and thoughtfullness. It is Philisophy, after all. I am feeling like this will be an easy A for me. Not just an easy A, but a fun one too.
I'm still nervous about German, but the teacher's pretty cool, and there are a couple of guys sitting by me who are really nice as well.
I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, both those who I know from outside WCC who are going there this year, and those who I know from school last year. I like that I can be on campus most of the day and see ten or twelve people I know. With some, I might just wave and continue on, with others, I'll stop and chat for a few minutes, and some I spent hours hanging out with between classes.
I'm still nervous about this year, but school isn't as big of a worry anymore. I think school will end up being a stable factor, a place where I'm comfortable. Homework causes stress, but it's totally manageable.
For the first time, I'm really looking forward to this school year.
I wasn't really looking forward to this year. I'm taking Math and German, two classes I wasn't excited about. I knew college applications would have to take up a lot of my time. I knew from experience that 8:30 classes aren't a lot of fun.
But then school started this week and a couple of things happened. I realized that if I took showers at night, I could get up a full twenty to thirty minutes later in the morning. That may not sound like a lot, but 6:00 and 6:30 are a world apart.
I went to my first few Math classes (I'm in Math 99, which is the second quarter of Algebra II), and discovered that not only do I really like my teacher, I also know a lot of the material already. I have also discovered the joy of 50 minute classes. Last year, I had all 90 minute or 2 hour classes, and those one hour classes are awesome. They feel so short!
I discovered that my Philosphy class has very little homework, and much of the grade is based on a few papers. Not just that, but the papers aren't graded on whether you mentioned certain facts, or got certain things correct, but instead on the process, writing quality, and thoughtfullness. It is Philisophy, after all. I am feeling like this will be an easy A for me. Not just an easy A, but a fun one too.
I'm still nervous about German, but the teacher's pretty cool, and there are a couple of guys sitting by me who are really nice as well.
I spent a lot of time hanging out with friends, both those who I know from outside WCC who are going there this year, and those who I know from school last year. I like that I can be on campus most of the day and see ten or twelve people I know. With some, I might just wave and continue on, with others, I'll stop and chat for a few minutes, and some I spent hours hanging out with between classes.
I'm still nervous about this year, but school isn't as big of a worry anymore. I think school will end up being a stable factor, a place where I'm comfortable. Homework causes stress, but it's totally manageable.
For the first time, I'm really looking forward to this school year.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Tuesday 9/22 and Wednesday 9/23 {Beginning of School!!}
It happened! School started! I wasn't really looking forward to it at first (for totally legit reasons), but I've actually really enjoyed it so far. Some friends of mine just started this year, so expect to see some new people in here often. :P My general policy is to use initials for those under 18, and names for those over, unless they've asked me to do otherwise. I'm using 1st and last initials for most people, except for C, who I've been calling that long enough that it would be confusing to switch now.
Tuesday!
1. I got up at 6am (ugh), took a shower, and got dressed and ready. I grabbed a granola bar to eat later (I get nausous when I try to eat that early in the morning.), and caught the bus to WCC. I was there early, so I got some tea from the Kulshan coffee cart, and then waited until I could go to my math class.
2. Math went well. It was mostly just the syllabus day. Almost the entire 50 minutes was spent talking about the schedule, grading, books, etc.
3. I had an hour off, during which I met up with JC (it was his first day at WCC), and helped him find his classroom. I then hung out for a while before heading to philisophy.
4. My Intro to Religions class was also good. I think our teacher is sorta crazy, but I like him. He seems tough, but I think overall it'll be an easy class. The grade is based off of take-home reading quizes and a few (3 or 4?) essays, two of which are more like outlines.
5. I headed to meet up with people in Syre. We hung out in the Interculteral Center for a while before moving to a bench down the hall where C and I spent a ton of time last spring. JC and HW were there, plus C and I.
6. JC and C both headed to classes, then HW and I wandered around for a while. We checked out the new gym (which is super fancy), and then I took the bus to Barkely.
7. My mom picked me up and took me to an appointment I had. After that, we headed for my dad's, where we had steak for dinner.
8. I came home, watched Lost, took a shower, read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed, totally exhausted.
Wednesday!
1. Got up a little later (showering at night gives me that ability), around 6:20, then got ready and took the bus to school. I got to school even earlier (I took the 7:20 bus today, while I took the 7:35 yesterday), and sat around tiredly for a while.
2. Went to Math class. After that, I ran into Ken at the bookstore while I was buying pens. I then got tea at the cafeteria, and hung out with Lydia for an hour before Philosophy.
3. Philosphy consisted of watching a movie about this guy named Thomas Berry who believed that the age of humans is ending, and the age of ecological reconstruction must neccessarily begin, and that this is in part because of the Judeo-Christian tradition. It's complicated. You can google him if you want to actually know more about it.
4. Directly after that I had my first German class. It was a little weird, since I've never taken a foreign language class before, but it was fun. I think I'll like that class.
5. After class, I met up with C and JC and talked for a while til C had to go to class. I hung out with JC for a while and downloaded Hearthstone (which took 35 minutes to download on the school wifi).
6. JC left for parkday, and I read my philosphy textbook for a while til C's math class ended. At that point, I briefly saw him (I yelled at him down the hallway) and then Jake, who I've known since last year, and who is also in C's math class, came over to where I was sitting and hung out with me for a few hours. We chatted about our parent's divorces, dating, friends, our futures, etc. Normal stuff.
7. At four, I went to a WWU personal statement writing workshop. It was aimed mostly at transfer students, so a lot of it wasn't applicable to me, but there was some useful stuff.
8. Mom and Isabelle picked me up and we went home and ate tacos. I took a shower and did some math reading, then watched Lost, read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed.
At the time of writing, not all of those things have happened yet, but it seems unlikely that they will not. If things changed, you will be duly notified. :P
Tuesday!
1. I got up at 6am (ugh), took a shower, and got dressed and ready. I grabbed a granola bar to eat later (I get nausous when I try to eat that early in the morning.), and caught the bus to WCC. I was there early, so I got some tea from the Kulshan coffee cart, and then waited until I could go to my math class.
2. Math went well. It was mostly just the syllabus day. Almost the entire 50 minutes was spent talking about the schedule, grading, books, etc.
3. I had an hour off, during which I met up with JC (it was his first day at WCC), and helped him find his classroom. I then hung out for a while before heading to philisophy.
4. My Intro to Religions class was also good. I think our teacher is sorta crazy, but I like him. He seems tough, but I think overall it'll be an easy class. The grade is based off of take-home reading quizes and a few (3 or 4?) essays, two of which are more like outlines.
5. I headed to meet up with people in Syre. We hung out in the Interculteral Center for a while before moving to a bench down the hall where C and I spent a ton of time last spring. JC and HW were there, plus C and I.
6. JC and C both headed to classes, then HW and I wandered around for a while. We checked out the new gym (which is super fancy), and then I took the bus to Barkely.
7. My mom picked me up and took me to an appointment I had. After that, we headed for my dad's, where we had steak for dinner.
8. I came home, watched Lost, took a shower, read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed, totally exhausted.
Wednesday!
1. Got up a little later (showering at night gives me that ability), around 6:20, then got ready and took the bus to school. I got to school even earlier (I took the 7:20 bus today, while I took the 7:35 yesterday), and sat around tiredly for a while.
2. Went to Math class. After that, I ran into Ken at the bookstore while I was buying pens. I then got tea at the cafeteria, and hung out with Lydia for an hour before Philosophy.
3. Philosphy consisted of watching a movie about this guy named Thomas Berry who believed that the age of humans is ending, and the age of ecological reconstruction must neccessarily begin, and that this is in part because of the Judeo-Christian tradition. It's complicated. You can google him if you want to actually know more about it.
4. Directly after that I had my first German class. It was a little weird, since I've never taken a foreign language class before, but it was fun. I think I'll like that class.
5. After class, I met up with C and JC and talked for a while til C had to go to class. I hung out with JC for a while and downloaded Hearthstone (which took 35 minutes to download on the school wifi).
6. JC left for parkday, and I read my philosphy textbook for a while til C's math class ended. At that point, I briefly saw him (I yelled at him down the hallway) and then Jake, who I've known since last year, and who is also in C's math class, came over to where I was sitting and hung out with me for a few hours. We chatted about our parent's divorces, dating, friends, our futures, etc. Normal stuff.
7. At four, I went to a WWU personal statement writing workshop. It was aimed mostly at transfer students, so a lot of it wasn't applicable to me, but there was some useful stuff.
8. Mom and Isabelle picked me up and we went home and ate tacos. I took a shower and did some math reading, then watched Lost, read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed.
At the time of writing, not all of those things have happened yet, but it seems unlikely that they will not. If things changed, you will be duly notified. :P
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Friday September 18, 2015 {Happy Birthday Mom!!}
1. The day started early, when mom left for work. We took some time to shower, eat, and generally get ready, then the preparations began.
2. Today was my mom's birthday, and Isabelle and I had decided to clean the house. My mom is a wonderful person who does a lot of things. She works full-time, homeschools, and is a single parent at that. With all of that, there are some things that slip through the cracks sometimes, and I know it bothers her that our house is often not as clean as she would like it to be.
3. Isabelle and I had high hopes, and we did our best. Due to extenuating circumstances, our basement is still torn up and it's just generally a disaster. We knew there wasn't much we could do down there, so we focused on what we could do: the living room, dining room, kitchen, and bathrooms. It took most of the day, but overall, I was happy with the results.
4. When mom got home from work, we headed out to dinner at D'anna's, a terrific Italian restaurant downtown. Though mom didn't know it yet, I was texting people all through dinner (yep, I was being a typical teenager). I was texting the families of our homeschool group however, giving them updates on our progress through dinner.
5. When we left D'Anna's, we walked a few block to Pure Bliss for desert, and Mom was very surprised to find all of our friends waiting there! I am honestly a terrible lair, so the fact that we pulled off this surprise party without her knowing anything is kind of amazing.
6. We hung out at Pure Bliss for a few hours, which was really great. I spent a lot of it talking with HW about all sorts of geeky stuff, including iPhone (which he has) vs. Android (which I have), various apps and podcasts, flags (the New Zealand flag redesign is really pretty exciting to watch), dance, Doctor Who, computer games, and Star Wars. The Star Wars segments were mostly him getting really exciting about things and telling me lots of things about it, only a small portion of which I understood. I don't share his excitement about all things Star Wars, but I can appreciate and enjoy his enthusiasm. :P
7. Afterwards, some of us walked to the Commerical Street Night Market, which is pretty cool. We didn't stay very long, but it was neat to check it out.
8. The Winslows dropped me off at home (mom and isabelle went home without going to the night market).
9. Read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed.
Happy Birthday Mom!! <3
2. Today was my mom's birthday, and Isabelle and I had decided to clean the house. My mom is a wonderful person who does a lot of things. She works full-time, homeschools, and is a single parent at that. With all of that, there are some things that slip through the cracks sometimes, and I know it bothers her that our house is often not as clean as she would like it to be.
3. Isabelle and I had high hopes, and we did our best. Due to extenuating circumstances, our basement is still torn up and it's just generally a disaster. We knew there wasn't much we could do down there, so we focused on what we could do: the living room, dining room, kitchen, and bathrooms. It took most of the day, but overall, I was happy with the results.
4. When mom got home from work, we headed out to dinner at D'anna's, a terrific Italian restaurant downtown. Though mom didn't know it yet, I was texting people all through dinner (yep, I was being a typical teenager). I was texting the families of our homeschool group however, giving them updates on our progress through dinner.
5. When we left D'Anna's, we walked a few block to Pure Bliss for desert, and Mom was very surprised to find all of our friends waiting there! I am honestly a terrible lair, so the fact that we pulled off this surprise party without her knowing anything is kind of amazing.
6. We hung out at Pure Bliss for a few hours, which was really great. I spent a lot of it talking with HW about all sorts of geeky stuff, including iPhone (which he has) vs. Android (which I have), various apps and podcasts, flags (the New Zealand flag redesign is really pretty exciting to watch), dance, Doctor Who, computer games, and Star Wars. The Star Wars segments were mostly him getting really exciting about things and telling me lots of things about it, only a small portion of which I understood. I don't share his excitement about all things Star Wars, but I can appreciate and enjoy his enthusiasm. :P
7. Afterwards, some of us walked to the Commerical Street Night Market, which is pretty cool. We didn't stay very long, but it was neat to check it out.
8. The Winslows dropped me off at home (mom and isabelle went home without going to the night market).
9. Read The Time Traveler's Wife, and went to bed.
Happy Birthday Mom!! <3
To NaNo or Not to NaNo?
A few weeks ago, I had decided I wasn't going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I have way too much on my plate right now, and it just wouldn't be smart. But then over the last few days two of my friends have been trying to convince me I should do it.
Here's a little of my NaNoWriMo history. I first participated in 2011, when I was 13. I hit 50k on the morning of the 30th, in time to go to Girl Scouts. I had a solid story, and while it was absolutely terrible, I did see it through to the end. In 2012, when I was in 9th grade, I did it again. This time, I didn't have a plot all lined up, and I switched narratives a few times. 2013 was similar. I started with one thing, ended with something else. The best thing about that year was that I had my own laptop! The first two NaNos I did, I could only write on the shared family computer. I was really sick for about a week (I had to miss Thanksgiving, my family went to my grandparents house without me), and it's amazing I finished at all.
Last year, 2014, was my fourth NaNoWriMo. It was, by all measures, the most challenging one yet. I again switched stories part way through. Even when I have done that, I still call it a win because I wrote over 50,000 words of new fiction in November. The challenging part was that it was my first year taking college classes, plus the week after Thanksgiving was finals. I had a final exam, a research paper, and a group presentation all due the between December 1st and 3rd. I was also in a production of the Nutcracker (admittadly in a very small part), and had just finished a production of Dracula the last week of October.
On November 30th, I babysat for three hours, did some homework, came home, and wrote 9,000 words. That is something I'd like to never do again. Last fall, I also had a bunch of personal issues going on and drama with friends to deal with. It was a stressful time. But I still won (hit 50k) for the fourth year in a row.
So why not do it this year? Because I am now taking three college classes, instead of one, plus I have college applications due November 15th that are causing me a lot of stress. I also may be in a production of the Nutcracker again. My mental health has been all over the place, and it's probably just not a great idea to add more stuff.
But if I won this year, I could have finished NaNoWriMo five times before my 18th birthday. Gah, I don't know what I will do. I have people like my mom, and my friend C. (whose oppinion I hold in high regard) who think I should not do it. After all, I have won four times in a row. And, really, I can always do it next year.
Then I have people like my friend NV and HW who think I should just go for it.
The problem is that one of two things is likely to happen. One, I decide to do NaNoWriMo, get overwhelmed with everything else, don't manage to finish, and beat myself up about it for months. Two, I decide to do it, and do manage to win, in the process forgoing all sleep, food, and do nothing but go to school and write. Neither one is good for my mental health. In fact, both are quite bad.
But, maybe, just maybe, I do manage to make it work. If I can find time and make it happen, then what's there to lose?
In case you can't tell, I still don't know what I'm going to be doing this November. But be assured, once I make a decision, you'll be the first to know.
Here's a little of my NaNoWriMo history. I first participated in 2011, when I was 13. I hit 50k on the morning of the 30th, in time to go to Girl Scouts. I had a solid story, and while it was absolutely terrible, I did see it through to the end. In 2012, when I was in 9th grade, I did it again. This time, I didn't have a plot all lined up, and I switched narratives a few times. 2013 was similar. I started with one thing, ended with something else. The best thing about that year was that I had my own laptop! The first two NaNos I did, I could only write on the shared family computer. I was really sick for about a week (I had to miss Thanksgiving, my family went to my grandparents house without me), and it's amazing I finished at all.
Last year, 2014, was my fourth NaNoWriMo. It was, by all measures, the most challenging one yet. I again switched stories part way through. Even when I have done that, I still call it a win because I wrote over 50,000 words of new fiction in November. The challenging part was that it was my first year taking college classes, plus the week after Thanksgiving was finals. I had a final exam, a research paper, and a group presentation all due the between December 1st and 3rd. I was also in a production of the Nutcracker (admittadly in a very small part), and had just finished a production of Dracula the last week of October.
On November 30th, I babysat for three hours, did some homework, came home, and wrote 9,000 words. That is something I'd like to never do again. Last fall, I also had a bunch of personal issues going on and drama with friends to deal with. It was a stressful time. But I still won (hit 50k) for the fourth year in a row.
So why not do it this year? Because I am now taking three college classes, instead of one, plus I have college applications due November 15th that are causing me a lot of stress. I also may be in a production of the Nutcracker again. My mental health has been all over the place, and it's probably just not a great idea to add more stuff.
But if I won this year, I could have finished NaNoWriMo five times before my 18th birthday. Gah, I don't know what I will do. I have people like my mom, and my friend C. (whose oppinion I hold in high regard) who think I should not do it. After all, I have won four times in a row. And, really, I can always do it next year.
Then I have people like my friend NV and HW who think I should just go for it.
The problem is that one of two things is likely to happen. One, I decide to do NaNoWriMo, get overwhelmed with everything else, don't manage to finish, and beat myself up about it for months. Two, I decide to do it, and do manage to win, in the process forgoing all sleep, food, and do nothing but go to school and write. Neither one is good for my mental health. In fact, both are quite bad.
But, maybe, just maybe, I do manage to make it work. If I can find time and make it happen, then what's there to lose?
In case you can't tell, I still don't know what I'm going to be doing this November. But be assured, once I make a decision, you'll be the first to know.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
The End of an Era
Earlier this week, my Irish dance teacher officially announced that she is moving away at the end of the month. She's not moving too far away, but far away enough that she won't be able to drive to Bellingham to teach our classes anymore. I'm sure we'll all keep in touch with her and see her periodically, but our time taking class from her is coming to an end.
Every year of Irish dance has gotten better and better. It has gone from an hour a week that I was terrified to go to to a large part of my life and identity. I'm an Irish dancer. That's who I am. And that's due to Heather. She's leaving us now, and that's sad. It' sad for us to lose her, and I'm going to be a bit presumptuous and guess that it's hard for her to lose us.
When I first heard this news, it was hard for me to process what exactly it meant for me and what my future of Irish dancing will look like. There are still a lot of things I'm not sure about, but I think that right now it's important not to think about the bad things that might happen, but instead think about the good things that did happen.
When I first started Irish dancing in September 2011, I was terrified. I totally didn't want to do it (as is the way with me), but once I said I would try it, I couldn't back out. The first few months, there were just four of us, Isabelle, two sisters who are friends of ours and who we've known for many years, and myself. It was the best possible group. If there had been people who I didn't know, I would have been much more likely to quit early on.
By the end of that year, we had three more girls who had joined our class, and we all had a bit more experience. At the end of that year, we did our first ever performances at The Leopold (a nursing home in Bellingham), and at the Bellingham Highland Games. It was scary, but fun. A few months later, we danced at Birch Bay State Park for the first time, on an old basketball court.
Over the summer, we took classes in both light and hard shoes. Our hardshoe dance that summer was a hornpipe I thought I'd never be able to do. Hardshoe dancing terrified me. I couldn't figure out how to do half of the moves, and the ones I could do I could only do at half the normal speed.
That next school year, our classes shifted a bit. We got to dance in the big studio, which was awesome. We combined with the class above us, meaning that we were dancing with Hailey, and Heidi, two great friends. We did both light and hardshoe, and we learned a lot of awesome steps.
For much of that year and the next, I felt somewhat inferior to many of the other students because they knew more steps than I did. Heidi, who had been in the class above, knew a lot of steps we hadn't learned, and she taught them to the other girls. I often felt like because I didn't spend time outside of class learning extra things, I wasn't as good of a dancer, and the attitudes of the other girls sometimes made that feeling stronger. As time has gone on, I've learned many of those steps, and I've also come to realize that knowing less steps doesn't make me a worse dancer. The amount of choreography you know isn't directly related to how good of a dancer you are: your form and sense rhythm are.
I slowly got the hang of that hornpipe, and two reels began to help me build my hardshoe confidence. My form got a lot better, and I got a lot better at staying with the music and counting out steps. In March of that year, we were invited to dance at The Firehouse Performing Arts Center in Bellingham with Northwest Ballet Theater. We were actually the main attraction, and got to do a 20 minute performance piece. Around that time, we also danced at several nursing homes and similar places for St. Patrick's Day.
Summer that year was great too. We danced at the Highland Games again, doing three shows in one day, which was exhausting, as well as at the Northwest Ballet Academy spring recital. We also performed again at Birch Bay State Park with the band Celtic Roots. This year, they had built a new stage that we got to use, which was awesome. Summer classes that year were fun as always. Our hardshoe step was a set dance called St. Patrick's Day, which is one of my favorite dances. Our light show step was called the Duke reel, which is a long, but fun dance for six people.
The third year was our best. We were back in the small studio, but that was fine, since that was really our home. I've spent a lot of time in that space. We learned some great steps, including a very fun three hand that we did to the Adele song "Rolling in the Deep," that has to be my very favorite light shoe dance. We didn't learn as many hard shoe steps, and honestly, I still don't feel comfortable with the ones we did learn. I feel like it always takes me a while to really grasp the hardshoe dances, longer than most of the other students.
I often felt inferior in those classes, for various reasons, but Heather, our fabulous teacher, was the saving grace. She knew each of us well, and knew our strength, weaknesses, and insecurities. She was always great and knowing when to correct a mistake, and when to let it slide. She understood that sometimes it took me longer to grasp a step than the other girls, and didn't make me feel bad about it, and she also knew that I was willing to work until I got it.
In December, we performed an Irish piece in the Nutcracker. It was our biggest performance ever, to the biggest audiences we've ever had. It was great. In January, we danced for the Burns Dinner, a Scottish banquet that happens every year to fund local Scottish heritage events. We were paid to dance there, another first for us.
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| The Nutcracker at Mt. Baker Theater |
In March, we danced a small piece in the Spring Dance Festival at The Firehouse, and also at a number of nursing homes for St. Patrick's Day. Then, we hosted an Irish Ceili, which was totally awesome.
In June, we danced at the Highland Games and the Northwest Ballet recital. In August, we performed at the Whidbey Island Highland Games, which we were paid to do. For the third year, we performed at Birch Bay State Park on a beatiful summer day. A few days later, a handful of us went to Boundary Bay Brewery to dance in the Beer Garden with the band Gallowglass. It was spontaneous, but fun, and it was so much fun.
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| Bellingham Scottish Highland Games 2015 |
Over the summer, we had classes too. We learned a very cool hardshoe set dance called The Blackbird, which I am still woefully bad at, and a great lightshoe eight hand to St. Patrick's Day.
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| Heather and I at Boundary Bay Brewery. |
Over the years, we've gone from being a group of students taking classes from a teacher to a group of performers, led from within by one of us. We are a performance group now, and more than anything I'll be sad to lose that piece of my life. That's not to say that's gone forever, or even that it's gone at all. Who knows what this year will bring. But whatever does happen, I'm so happy that I got to dance with Heather these last few years.
All of this is why I am sticking with Irish to the bitter end. With Heather leaving, some of the people in our class are seriously considering leaving for good. They say that Heather is Irish dance, and that without her, it's not worth it.
But for me, it is worth it. I certainly love Heather and the time I get to spend with her. I am very sad to see Heather leave, and I'm nervous about what the future is going to bring, but giving up on Irish would be giving up on Heather. She's spent the last three years teaching us and preparing us for the dancing world. We know how to dance, we know how to communicate with other dancers, and we've learned her dance style very well, modeling our own styles after it.
We also have so much more we can learn from this new teacher. I certainly wouldn't say that I've learned all that I can from Heather, but I know that I have a lot that I can learn from our new teacher. Giving up on Irish dancing would be putting all time and energy Heather has given to us to waste. I'm certainly not gong to do that.
Friday, September 11, 2015
Reading Habits
This is one of those book tags you find on YouTube and Tumblr. I wasn't tagged to do this by anyone, but I'm just doing it cause it's fun. I might do a few more of these in the next few weeks.
1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?
Not really. I mostly read either in bed or on the couch. I do a lot of my reading while on the bus, so not at home at all.2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?
Random piece of paper. I used to have a lot of bookmarks, but i don't bother keeping any any more since I always just end up using whatever I have on hand anyway.3. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/ a certain amount of pages?
Usually I can stop anywhere, but I prefer to stop at the end of a chapter or section. 4. Do you eat or drink while reading?
Yes. I know you're not supposed to do that, but my reading time is limited and I often need to eat while I read.5. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?
I prefer not to. I like having some ambient sound when I read, since I find silence distracting, but I don't usually want something else that's going to be vying for my attention.
6. One book at a time or several at once?
Usually more than one. Right now I'm reading three.7. Reading at home or everywhere?
Everywhere. If I only read at home, I'd never get any reading done.8. Reading out lout or silently in your head?
I prefer to read silently. I sometimes read out loud to my sister, but I'm not very good at reading out loud, so I don't do it often.9. Do you read ahead or even skip pages?
Only if it's a book I don't like very much. 10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?
Books are meant to be used. I don't see a point it making sure the spine doesn't break. It's just extra work, and I don't rally think it's all that necessary. 11. Do you write in your books?
I always write in school books. Since most of the books I read for fun are either library books or books I'm checking out from the local bookstore to review, I can't write in them.
1. Do you have a certain place at home for reading?
Not really. I mostly read either in bed or on the couch. I do a lot of my reading while on the bus, so not at home at all.2. Bookmark or random piece of paper?
Random piece of paper. I used to have a lot of bookmarks, but i don't bother keeping any any more since I always just end up using whatever I have on hand anyway.3. Can you just stop reading or do you have to stop after a chapter/ a certain amount of pages?
Usually I can stop anywhere, but I prefer to stop at the end of a chapter or section. 4. Do you eat or drink while reading?
Yes. I know you're not supposed to do that, but my reading time is limited and I often need to eat while I read.5. Multitasking: Music or TV while reading?
I prefer not to. I like having some ambient sound when I read, since I find silence distracting, but I don't usually want something else that's going to be vying for my attention.
6. One book at a time or several at once?
Usually more than one. Right now I'm reading three.7. Reading at home or everywhere?
Everywhere. If I only read at home, I'd never get any reading done.8. Reading out lout or silently in your head?
I prefer to read silently. I sometimes read out loud to my sister, but I'm not very good at reading out loud, so I don't do it often.9. Do you read ahead or even skip pages?
Only if it's a book I don't like very much. 10. Breaking the spine or keeping it like new?
Books are meant to be used. I don't see a point it making sure the spine doesn't break. It's just extra work, and I don't rally think it's all that necessary. 11. Do you write in your books?
I always write in school books. Since most of the books I read for fun are either library books or books I'm checking out from the local bookstore to review, I can't write in them.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Some Changes
You may have noticed that there are suddenly a ton more posts in the backlog now. The reason is that I combined this blog with my blog Reading Writing and Graduation Highschool. I imported all posts and comments from that blog to this one. The reason is that I am finding it hard to keep up with both blogs at the moment. The serve somewhat different purposes, but I don't see why that all can't happen on one blog.
In addition, the title of my old blog, while it was appropriate when I started it, is soon going to be outdated.
The idea is that this blog will have all the posts that would have gone on both blogs previously. There won't be less of what there was, just more other stuff. I'm hoping this will make things easier for me, and that it will make things easier for people reading my blogs as well.
I also really, really, really hope that those of you subscribed by email didn't just get over 150 new post notifications. If you did, I'm really, really sorry. :(
Back to regularly scheduled programming!
In addition, the title of my old blog, while it was appropriate when I started it, is soon going to be outdated.
The idea is that this blog will have all the posts that would have gone on both blogs previously. There won't be less of what there was, just more other stuff. I'm hoping this will make things easier for me, and that it will make things easier for people reading my blogs as well.
I also really, really, really hope that those of you subscribed by email didn't just get over 150 new post notifications. If you did, I'm really, really sorry. :(
Back to regularly scheduled programming!
Sunday, September 6, 2015
August 30 - September 5, 2015
Sunday, August 30th
Sunday morning, we woke up and there was power! Yay! Mom tried to clean up the tree debris a bit, then we went to pick up my friend HW. Mom dropped us both off at NV's house. For a few hours, we played some games (including The Resistence!) with N and his brother and his brother's friends. Then the three of us hung out for a while and chatted about stuff. I love hanging out with them, but there were a few moments when I distinctly noticed the fact that I was the only girl there. It doesn't bother me to hang out with boys all the time, and most of my closest friends are boys, but there are rare moments where I feel a little out of place.
Carolyn picked H and I up and dropped me at the house where I was babysitting. For the next three hours, I played with the kids, then the dad dropped me off at my house. When I got there, Lydia was there! The Winslows still didn't have power, so she was staying at our house.
Monday, August 31st
I got up and didn't do much for most of the morning. I did some random chores around the house, read, played some games on the computer. Lydia and I went to the library to volunteer at 3. When we were done there, we walked downtown to get drinks at Cafe Adagio, then took a bus back to Haggen, where mom picked us up. Because the Winslows still were out of power, Lydia stayed another night.
Tuesday, September 1st
Again, a pretty boring day. Lydia left in the early afternoon.
Wednesday, September 2nd
The morning was pretty slow. I went to park day, where there was a torrential rain storm, thunder, and lightening. That was exciting.
Thursday, September 3rd
The morning was again rather quiet. In the afternoon, we went to our dad's house for dinner. We had some left over cake, since it was our step-brother's birthday on Wednesday.
Friday, September 4th
We spent the morning cleaning up all the debris from the tree. We hauled a bunch of stuff in our neighbor's trailer to a place the city had set up for people to dump storm debris. We went to Boomer's for lunch, then came home to do stuff around the house. Mom and I went to WCC to buy books before realizing they aren't open on Fridays in the summer (augh!). None of us were at all hungry for dinner, so we just ate popcorn while watching Lost.
Saturday, September 5th
The guy who was doing our carpet came back to finish. I was at YARC, where we had pizza and cake, because it's our one year anniversary! Mom couldn't come pick me up til the carpet guy left, so I had to wait for another hour and a half after the meeting ended. On the bright side, I read 135 pages of the book I got! It's super fantastic.
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