To NaNo or Not to NaNo?

A few weeks ago, I had decided I wasn't going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I have way too much on my plate right now, and it just wouldn't be smart. But then over the last few days two of my friends have been trying to convince me I should do it.

Here's a little of my NaNoWriMo history. I first participated in 2011, when I was 13. I hit 50k on the morning of the 30th, in time to go to Girl Scouts. I had a solid story, and while it was absolutely terrible, I did see it through to the end. In 2012, when I was in 9th grade, I did it again. This time, I didn't have a plot all lined up, and I switched narratives a few times. 2013 was similar. I started with one thing, ended with something else. The best thing about that year was that I had my own laptop! The first two NaNos I did, I could only write on the shared family computer. I was really sick for about a week (I had to miss Thanksgiving, my family went to my grandparents house without me), and it's amazing I finished at all.

Last year, 2014, was my fourth NaNoWriMo. It was, by all measures, the most challenging one yet. I again switched stories part way through. Even when I have done that, I still call it a win because I wrote over 50,000 words of new fiction in November. The challenging part was that it was my first year taking college classes, plus the week after Thanksgiving was finals. I had a final exam, a research paper, and a group presentation all due the between December 1st and 3rd. I was also in a production of the Nutcracker (admittadly in a very small part), and had just finished a production of Dracula the last week of October.

On November 30th, I babysat for three hours, did some homework, came home, and wrote 9,000 words. That is something I'd like to never do again. Last fall, I also had a bunch of personal issues going on and drama with friends to deal with. It was a stressful time. But I still won (hit 50k) for the fourth year in a row.

So why not do it this year? Because I am now taking three college classes, instead of one, plus I have college applications due November 15th that are causing me a lot of stress. I also may be in a production of the Nutcracker again. My mental health has been all over the place, and it's probably just not a great idea to add more stuff.

But if I won this year, I could have finished NaNoWriMo five times before my 18th birthday. Gah, I don't know what I will do. I have people like my mom, and my friend C. (whose oppinion I hold in high regard) who think I should not do it. After all, I have won four times in a row. And, really, I can always do it next year.

Then I have people like my friend NV and HW who think I should just go for it.

The problem is that one of two things is likely to happen. One, I decide to do NaNoWriMo, get overwhelmed with everything else, don't manage to finish, and beat myself up about it for months. Two, I decide to do it, and do manage to win, in the process forgoing all sleep, food, and do nothing but go to school and write. Neither one is good for my mental health. In fact, both are quite bad.

But, maybe, just maybe, I do manage to make it work. If I can find time and make it happen, then what's there to lose?

In case you can't tell, I still don't know what I'm going to be doing this November. But be assured, once I make a decision, you'll be the first to know.