Not Going Crazy (Hopefully)

Some days are just tough. Some weeks are harder than others. But the key is to keep going and not be overwhelmed. Sometimes I'm okay at that. Sometimes I freaking suck at it. This is one of those weeks where I'm staving off emotional breakdown.

My classes are going okay right now, but they are all tough. German stresses me out just because I don't know how I'm doing for sure, and I know it's not terrifically. I'm not failing by any means, but I kind of feel like I'm barely skating along.

We just got a new puppy!

My English class is slowly crushing me. Despite being a children's lit class, which is so totally something I would usually love, I kind of hate it. For one thing, it's a 2.5 hour class two days a week. That's not an uncommon class time here, but I hate it with a passion. Two and a half hours in a class is too many. And in this particular class, it's very challenging. I just don't really like any of my classmates all that much. Not that I *dislike* them, I just don't *like* them. I also have a lot of frustrations with the assignments and grading. I like my teacher, but I have a hard time with the way she does things sometimes.

So, to offset the angst, have puppy pics!

Math is always a struggle. It's up and down, and right now, as we move into a unit on logs and exponentials, it's definitely another down. I hate logs. Most things in math I just sort of vaguely dislike, and some I even make peace with once I understand them, but not logarithms. I understand how they work and why I would use them but I just have a deep seeded hatred for them.

Working at the Writing Center is awesome, but there have been lots of little stresses there recently, and I am finding more and more extra projects and hours getting piled on. I don't really want to complain, because I need every hour I can get, but it's just another thing.

She's super cute.

Dance is strange right now. I don't want to say too much cause I don't know what will happen, but there's a good chance I won't really be dancing much for the next few months. I'll write more about that a little later, once I know more about where things are headed.

I'm also getting involved in a new very exciting literary project which I am super pumped about. Again, I'm not going to say any more right now until it's a little more common knowledge, but I'm super excited. It is however another thing to budget time and energy for, and I really need to be careful about taking on too many things as this grows.

She did not enjoy her first bath in the slightest.

On the whole, that's why I haven't been blogging. Life is crazy. I'm so insanely busy right now I don't even know what's going on anymore.

Friday afternoon I was sitting at school after a day full of: math class (8:30-9:20) work (10-11:15) german class (11:15-12:55) and a meeting (2-3:30) and I was so done and basically in breakdown mode. I sat on the couch where I basically live (anyone who goes to WCC knows where I'm talking about) and thought about all the things I had to do this weekend (a few pages of german homework, 100 pages of reading and a 2 page response for english, a presentation to prepare for Tuesday as well as a 2 page write up about it, and some optional math homework as well as a video to make for work).

Seriously, I live on this couch. It also has a pretty good selfie background, and excellent lighting most of the time.

I was sitting up there by myself and freaking out and sent some panicked texts to my boyfriend before he helped me realize that what I really needed was to relax a little bit. I have a really hard time letting myself relax. If I have things to do, even if I'm not doing anything, I'm constantly thinking about all the things I need to do.

Yesterday, I went and hung out at the library at WWU for several hours with my boyfriend and while we did get some productive things done, we spent a lot of the time just talking and hanging out. I came home was more relaxed and ready to work, and I've been in a way better state of mind today to get things done. When I panic, I'm way less productive.

This should be a lesson to me to relax a little more. Though life doesn't always really allow it, I have to put in an effort to sometimes just do nothing.